Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
