She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Randomize
