I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
