Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I love you.
Bad choice
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
