i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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