I think I can smell my own vagina right now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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