oh god the rape fog is back!
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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