How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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