why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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