exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
