I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
