whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
