I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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