This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
