That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize