hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
