i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
