Sponge bath it is.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
