i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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