Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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