and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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