Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
