I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize