man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
