last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
