But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
