well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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