He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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