what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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