Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
