Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
