Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
