he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize