You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It's rum buckets o'clock
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
