The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
