Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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