pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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