who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
