White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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