Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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