Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i came on her dog
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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