I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He has the fingertips of a God
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
