would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
