i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I met the friendliest cop last night
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
