I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
