I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize