My Higher Power is John Stamos
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
