when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
