So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
