Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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