why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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