I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
