He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Its about making memories worth repressing
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
