If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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