where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
