Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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