hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
