I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
