Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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