there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
