btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
someone owes me an orgasm
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
