i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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