we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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