dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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