can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
