that's an acceptable place to lick
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
