But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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