I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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