The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
organizing the empties. That sober.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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