It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
