you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
