The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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